HUSTLER: Why did it take LFP so long to start producing videos?
FLYNT: Really, stupidity on my part. Every time I would think about getting into video, I would talk to some of the people in the industry, and they would say, “Stay away from it; the profits aren’t there. It’s too difficult. Stick to publishing; you know what you’re doing.” And so I was sort of put to rest on that issue, but I always felt that the HUSTLER brand name translated into some value; I did not know what. When we opened Hustler Hollywood—the most successful erotic boutique in the country—we saw that people wanted a T-shirt with HUSTLER on it, a jacket with HUSTLER on it. That experience made me say, “I think this desire for the HUSTLER brand will also translate to video.” So we got into video three years ago. We’re the second-largest video company in the country now, and we’re in the process of making an acquisition here in Los Angeles that would make us the largest video producer and distributor in the country.
HUSTLER: Would you ever appear in a boy/girl Hustler photo-set?
FLYNT: Who would want to see my skinny ass?
HUSTLER: Can you judge a woman’s pussy by looking at her face?
FLYNT: I can. Not many people can, but I can tell exactly what a woman’s pussy looks like by looking at her mouth. A woman that has thin lips, chances are she’s not going to have thick, puffy labia; her lips are going to be thin on her pussy as well. If a girl has a very succulent mouth and is very lippy, I always find that her pussy is the same way.
HUSTLER: Can you also determine something about a woman’s personality by looking at her vagina? For instance, can you tell if she’s going to be a hot fuck, or if she’s going to be dishonest?
FLYNT: I can usually tell more readily than most people can. It’s something that’s sort of like a sixth sense; you either have a knack for it or you haven’t.
HUSTLER: Besides fucking a chicken, what is the wildest thing you have ever done sexually?
FLYNT: Isn’t that wild enough? When I was a 17-year-old sailor in the Navy in Cannes, France, I went ashore to a brothel. By myself, I took 20 women, and I had myself a private little orgy. My back went out on me, and my friends had to help me back to the ship that night.
HUSTLER: How did you get the money for 20 chicks?
FLYNT: I won it in a poker game.
HUSTLER: Looking back on your career, what would you do differently?
FLYNT: I can tell you what got me in the most trouble, and it’s the only thing that ever appeared in HUSTLER that, if I were given the opportunity to do it again, I wouldn’t publish. When Ford was President, Betty Ford had a double mastectomy, and it was Christmastime, and we ran a full-page cartoon of a silhouette of a woman standing there in the White House saying, “All I want for Christmas is my two front tits.” We got so much mail, and not one positive letter. Everybody was talking about how uncouth and insensitive it was. I felt that the cartoon was really over the top,
we should have toned it down, but it had already been done. But no one argued the point with me until we published it, and I really wasn’t thinking of the reaction or the consequences, and I even lost my own mother to breast cancer.
I can’t think of anything else. That’s saying a lot, for all the years we’ve been publishing, not to have any regrets except maybe one cartoon. That’s a pretty good record.
HUSTLER: If you were President, how would you have handled September 11?
FLYNT: Not much differently than Bush has. I think he deserves high marks for the way he’s waged the war. But remember, we investigated Bush for years before he was President. We know a lot of things about him that other people don’t know. He is a right-wing fascist and a bigot. He was born into oil, he’s still into oil, and the small businessman or the average worker has no place in Bush’s circle. What’s eventually going to do him in is the economy. In the end, people vote their pocketbooks—the only exception was the last Presidential race, which I think Gore won, quite frankly, but they made such an issue out of Clinton doing a very human thing and telling a lie about it. Bush was able to skate in there. His house better be in order both economically and as far as his foreign policy goes by the time the next election rolls around, or he won’t be reelected.
HUSTLER: What do you think of CNN censoring your remarks about your investigation into Bush’s past from its official transcript of the interview [Crossfire, October 20, 2000]?
FLYNT: I make the press really skittish, because they can’t dismiss me as a flake. They had to take me seriously when I won the unanimous decision in 1988 against Jerry Falwell and made parody protected speech. They had to take me seriously in the DeLorean cocaine-trafficking case, when I went to prison for 15 months for refusing to reveal my source. They had to take me seriously when we exposed Bob Livingston, Speaker-elect of the House. We had the goods and, if we had not, they would have stepped on us like a bug. We’ve always survived with our credibility intact. You may not like what we do or say, but we’re gonna do it, and we’re gonna say it.
HUSTLER: If HUSTLER were to do an Asshole of the 20th Century, who would it be?
FLYNT: You’ve got to single out the person who poses the most danger to our civil liberties and our civil rights, and that person is John Ashcroft. I think that when Bush uses the word evil, he should occasionally look over at Ashcroft, because this guy is evil personified. He’s extremely dangerous.
HUSTLER: What are you most proud of in HUSTLER’s 28 years?
FLYNT: We have never, ever compromised. HUSTLER is a wild card because we make our money on newsstand price and not advertising revenue; so the advertisers have no control over us, and the government has no control over us.

“Suck zee dick,” commands Bob Sima in a thick, French accent that echoes off the walls of a large photography studio in downtown Los Angeles. “Spread zee legs.” Maria, an English girl with long, dirty-blond hair who’s wearing nothing but white ankle socks and a light-brown patch of pubes shaved into a mohawk, follows Sima’s direction. Darren James and Sledge Hammer, two African-American woodsmen with buzz cuts and huge cocks, double-team the British babe. Maria’s mouth engulfs James’s dark meat, and her thighs open wide for Sledge Hammer’s ebony mallet.

Holding a digital video camera in one hand and smoking a cigarette with the other, Sima is shooting the third installment of his Real College Girls series, a recent addition to HUSTLER Video’s thriving line of live-action smut. Since its inception in 1998, HUSTLER Video has spawned numerous popular series, including Barely Legal, Jail Babes, HUSTLER XXX and Young Sluts, Inc.

The chicks of Real College Girls are all actually enrolled in places of higher education. Before every sex scene, the viewer is introduced to the coed at her college, where she explains how she answered an ad promising $1,000 for a day’s work. After being asked if she’s ready to suck and fuck a couple of strangers, the soon-to-be-violated pupil shows her authentic college ID to the camera. Theoretically, a college gal is brighter than the average porn slut. In reality, matriculation does not necessarily indicate higher intelligence. Maria attends East L.A. Community College, which doesn’t require a high-school diploma or even a GED as a prerequisite for enrollment. For a mere $11, the price of one semester credit, any girl can become a real college girl and a veritable video hussy.

“Let’s do doggy,” says Sima. Never releasing the cock from her mouth, Maria turns around and bends over, allowing Sledge Hammer to pound her from behind. “Show some pussy, you little slut,” directs Sima. “Turn your face toward the camera.” Maria directs her gaze toward the lens while awkwardly continuing to suck cock. With her left hand, the blonde spreads her Tasmanian Devil-tattooed ass cheek to better expose her cunt. Sima calls for the D.P. scene. After a few minutes of trial and error, Maria and her two co-stars determine the best configuration. Maria straddles Sledge Hammer, taking his cock deep in her twat, while James bones her up the ass from behind. “Spit on my ass,” pleads Maria.

The two bucks rhythmically pump her from both directions as the horny student groans. While many college girls use the freedom of the campus experience to first explore their sexuality, Maria seems no stranger to interracial double penetration. James pulls his dick out of the carnal prodigy’s anus and sticks the dirty phallus into the collegian’s mouth. “Good little whore,” encourages Sima. Maria laughs. “See, people always with a smile on their face,” says Sima. “Pornography makes people happy.” Which is as valuable a lesson as any.

First Issue: July 1974	First girl-on-girl photo-spread: August 1974	First shaved pussy: September 1974	First boy/girl photo-shoot: September 1974	HUSTLER becomes the first major magazine to show pink: December 1974
HUSTLER’s first naked celebrity, and the first nude First Lady ever: August 1975	First interracial photo-spread: December 1975	First chick with a dick: February 1976	First pregnant model: April 1976	First American magazine cover to feature pubic hair: July 1976
First scratch ’n’ sniff centerfold: August 1977	First gang-bang: May 1978	First hermaphrodite: November 1982	First photos of a female-to-male sex-change operation: February 1990	First cum-shot: November 1994
The piss pictorial that opened the golden-showers floodgates: October 1997	First unobscured blowjob: December 1998	First dildo in a girl’s ass: February 1999	First anal penetration by a cock that made readers say, “Wow”: June 2001	First fucking of a man up the ass by a woman wearing a strap-on dildo: February 2002

In late February, San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown, famed filmmaker Francis Ford Coppola and hundreds of others celebrated the grand opening of HUSTLER’s newest men’s club, which follows the 2001 premiere of New Orleans’s HUSTLER Club. (Plans are underway to build more venues nationwide.) Meanwhile, a small group of protesters gathered outside of the new San Francisco establishment to celebrate their own ignorance. A few days prior to the festivities, the San Francisco Examiner ran a sensationalist article detailing the minor controversy that resulted from an ad for the club. The ad, which featured the same youthful but entirely legal models who graced the May 2002 HUSTLER cover, led some local feminists to allege that Larry Flynt is a “pseudo-child pornographer.” Encouraged by the Examiner’s piece, pseudo-intellectual Diana Russell, author of Against Pornography: The Evidence of Harm, sent a flurry of e-mails to fellow anti-Flynt sympathizers, urging them to rally against the club. Only three like-minded morons answered Russell’s call to protest in front of the establishment. Despite the small turnout, Russell led her meager cadre of feminists with signs and a prepared speech, spewing such idiotic gems as, “How I wish that Flynt’s would-be murderer had been a better shot” and “[Flynt] has caused a lot more terroristic violence against women and girls than Osama bin Laden has.” Russell failed to explain how her endorsement of attempted murder jibes with her antiviolence crusade. “I hear we’ve got a few protesters outside,” said Flynt at a press conference held inside the lavish club. “That means we are doing something right. “They’re just upset because, after 30 years, they still have to sleep on the wet spot,” Flynt quipped to raucous applause. Feisty blond Hustler Club dancer Nikita voiced a similar sentiment: “Feminists need to suck it.”

In an attempt to siphon viewers from Fox’s Super Bowl XXXVI’s halftime show, NBC aired a “Playboy Playmate” edition of its reality-television series Fear Factor. The show’s host, Joe Rogan, was less of a suck-up during this exclusive HUSTLER interview, in which he reviews the leading porn periodicals and reveals his true feelings for Playboy and its Playmates. Playboy Playboy, to me, is fucking retarded. I don’t like mixing pornography with real articles. If you give me a big exposé on the government and right next to it is tits and ass, I just can’t focus. They’re not good articles anyway. The interviews are sometimes interesting; people will say something in Playboy that they wouldn’t say in other magazines. “Turn-ons and turn-offs”—dude, I don’t even care if she can talk. Do you think I care what movie she likes? I’ve met a bunch of the girls in Playboy; that’s the problem. Chicks are not hotter in Playboy; they are all these bleached blondes. The seven girlfriends of Hef are all stupid-looking. Look deep in their eyes, you see the back of their skulls. I think it’s funny that he’s the one pornographer that everyone thinks is acceptable—the women don’t show their vaginas; so he’s a good guy. Penthouse Penthouse has technology ads, talking about palm pilots, digital cameras and scanners and, right next to it, dick enlargement. Where else does that happen? The articles are usually goofy. Pretty good photos—full penetration, loads, everything. Good paper quality. This chick with a rubber dildo is dressed like some hooker from the ’40s. All I can think of is old, old pussy—I can’t jack off to her; that’s my grandma. I am not into that black-and-white bullshit. We have new technology now; it’s called color photography. What are they trying to be, arty? The other thing that freaks me out about Penthouse is the way everything is so soft. It’s like she’s covered in a fine powder—her hair, her clothes. I hate that shit. That’s what I love about HUSTLER—crystal-clear, lubricated, in-focus vaginas. No bullshit. HUSTLER This is real porn; there’s no airbrush, there’s no bullshit, no frosted look, no glamour pics. That’s porn, dude. This is a guy’s magazine. This is real porn when you’re not pretending you’re not looking for porn. “I want some fucking porn; I want to whack off. I want to get this shit over with.” Every chick, even if she’s by herself, has to have at least two fingers in her. HUSTLER always has the most fucked-up cartoons. HUSTLER cartoons are like, “Oh, Jesus” cartoons. You read it, and you say, “Oh, Jesus!” But you have to show other people because they’re so fucked-up. Cheri A lot of porn stars. Mediocre lesbians. This one kind of sucks. The pictures are bad quality, which leads me to believe one of two things: Either these girls are not very good-looking, or the guy who’s taking the pictures is an idiot. Either way, it’s not good. This girl’s really pretty; why can’t you see what she really looks like instead of this glossed-over look? High Society Mediocre women. Lesbian scene. Dildo. Ugly, ugly girls. Really heinous women. The further you get down the food chain, the nastier the chicks sending the pictures are. High Society, it’s at least three levels below HUSTLER. Look at these girls; they’re just heinous. I mean, they’re ugly in their town; they’re not just ugly in Hollywood and the world. This girl from Victorville, Connecticut, she’s a pig in Victorville. This other chick’s cute; she could have held out and got in HUSTLER. You fucked up, baby. Gallery These suck too, man. Everything’s just washed over; I don’t get that. It looks like you’re looking at it through a filter or something. Here’s their “Girl Next Door.” Ooh, tell me where she lives, because I’m not moving there. I swear to God, some of them you can smell right through the picture. They smell like cheap beer and cigarettes. This magazine sucks. Swank This is pretty weak. The girls seem a little wrecked. The photographic quality of this one just doesn’t seem that good. The gals seem very uninspired, the camera angles very unoriginal. Swank gets a big thumbs down. It will work in a pinch. Look at this chick; she lifts her tits out, and she still has the tape on from where she had the implant surgery. That’s how fresh her implants are—she has fucking Band-Aids on them. That’s insane. Oh, these are the fluffers. These poor girls are too ugly to be porn stars; so they suck the dicks before they get to the porn stars. That’s so depressing.